Sometimes I really stress myself out wanting my life to
honor God. It is a constant pleading of
my heart that He would use me to make his Name great. At this point in my life in Africa my desire
is to glorify him by working with the students here. With this mindset it’s easy to start focusing
on doing things for God and forget
that the thing that brings God the most glory is who we are, and the way we find our very identity in our heavenly
Father.
Last week I had one exceptionally frustrating day of
teaching. I felt like I wasn’t getting
anywhere with the students and they weren’t learning anything I was trying to
explain. To be honest, I was starting to
feel like an utter failure as a teacher.
As ridiculous as it seems, I was starting to worry that if I couldn’t
teach the children anything, my time here would be wasted, that I wouldn’t be
able to honor God. How ridiculous! My bringing glory to God isn’t about how much
better the students are at English when I leave. For my life to be glorifying means that my
heart is set on the things above, that my love for the Father exceeds my love
for anything else, that I truly desire and seek his will above all else and am
willing to be obedient to it.
What God is showing me is that, while I might have come here
with a certain purpose in mind (teaching), his purposes for me are much
wider. By being on the mission field I’m
seeing more of God’s heart for his people, and I’m learning that living a God
honoring life isn’t about doing things and accomplishing my own goals; it’s
about having a heart like his.
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