Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Remembering My Anchor

Sometimes the greatest epiphanies come while listening to music in the car.  The other day I was listening to "Anchor of my Soul" by Josh Garrels and was struck by these lyrics:

Oh Lord of the wind and the waves
If you're with us we will not be afraid
No storm can ever separate us 
From Jesus, you're mighty to save
All those who would call on your name

When it comes to thinking about our future as missionaries serving overseas there is still a lot of fear that I'm working through.  It's a fear of not being able to be a good wife and mother when I'm not surrounded by friends and family.  A fear that I won't have the strength to carry on day after day.  The thing is, I will fail when I try to do anything on my own.  Listening to Josh the other day I was reminded that God has indeed promised to be with me wherever I go and will give me everything I need.  My problem is, while I believe it in my head, I don't think this truth has totally sunk into my heart.  

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."  We've all heard that one a million times and I tend to glide right past this verse.  But do I really believe this?  Do I live in light of this reality? 

Yesterday during my quiet time I started making a list of the things that I could do only with God's help.  My list started with big picture things like "doing missions", but as I went along I started writing things like, "being a patient mom," "teaching SojournKids" and "showing grace to other people."  God graciously pointed out to me that all the things I'm already doing are only possible in His strength, not my own.  God has been so faithful to be working in my life, why would he give up right as we step out in faith and obedience to go to the mission field?

In my imaginings of life in SE Asia I honestly haven't left a lot of room for God.  I've spent plenty of time thinking about the nitty gritty details of life and whether or not I'll be able to hack it over there, but I seem to have forgotten that God isn't going to forget me.  (Ironic huh?)  He'll continue to be at work in my life and will keep providing everything I need to do the things He's called me to do.  This thought has been so comforting the past few days and I'm sure it's a truth I'll keep leaning on over the next few years before we go.

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