A Cup Overflowing

Have you ever heard people talk about "dangerous prayers?"  You know, like asking God for patience or humility?  God always seems to answer these prayers with a swiftness that might knock you on your face.  Not that this is always a bad thing.  Often what we need is for God to use our circumstances to bring us back into alignment with his will.  But this isn't a post about dangerous prayers.  It's about how God has (yet again) shown himself to be a Great Provider.

For a couple of months after we returned from "The Year of the Suitcase" I felt like I was walking through a spiritual desert.  I didn't feel God's presence as strongly as I had while we were on the mission field, and I was seriously lacking in motivation to approach God in prayer or through the Word.    This wasn't a new experience for me, but it was difficult after feeling so close to God while we were overseas.  Not a place where I wanted to stay spiritually!

I started praying that God would give me a thirst for His Word and presence, and this was one of those prayers that He answered in a big way.  Psalm 42:1 was constantly on my lips, "As a deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you O God."  And Psalm 1:2-3, which says, "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither."  Honestly I was starting to feel like a shriveled up plant, and I desperately needed God to restore my soul.

I've written a lot about my need for community, and I believe God answered these prayers by surrounding me with other people who are totally in love with Jesus who could encourage me and point me back to Truth.  I can't put my finger on exactly when my heart started to change, but over time I developed a deep longing for God.  I would ask Patrick to read scripture to me out loud and it really did feel like my shriveled-up-plant of a self was being watered.  David's words in Psalm 51 were coming alive to me; "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

These days I wouldn't describe myself as a shriveled plant but rather a cup that's overflowing with blessings from God.  You know that fuzzy feeling you get when you haven't had enough water?  I used to feel as though there a piece of gauze wedged in my brain making it hard to think straight.  But drinking in God's presence removes the gauze, and it's as though I can see Him clearer again.

Last year I wrote about the flow of grace, and how when God pours out his Spirit into our lives we can't help but pour into the lives of others'.  That's my prayer during this time of refreshment; that God would so overwhelm me with his very presence that I can't help but share his love with other people!